I don’t know how to start without sounding like a pervert, so here goes:
Picture this, you’re a:
- Woman in her 30s and above
- Decent income household
- You are a bit on the chubby side
- You see your neighbour, a hot soccer mom in her 40’s who’s shagging your husband, while you sob over your fatness with scoops of icecream and the 4th time you binge-watched friends
- She tells you one word: Ozempic
- You’re thin now, but you have a problem, you’re suffering from “Ozempic Butt”
That’s right fellas this is more of an epic to butts rather than a proper DD, however I did do my anal-ysis and figured out a few things. So buckle up buckeroos we’re going on a deep dive into the world of butts and butt-lifting leggings.
If there’s one thing that makes money it’s body image issues in women, after all marketing is exactly that - exploiting the deeply nested anxieties of women to get them to buy the latest makeup and what not so that they can feel pretty. The same is applied to butts and legs.
Surely most of you remember the horrible era of thigh gaps and what many girls/women did to themselves in order to achieve something that is anatomically not possible unless you got released from a concentration camp. Well leggings are a new form of a beast: It’s all about showing the form of your butt, without actually revealing it (no matter what women tell you). But after losing weight, you suddenly need new appareal - especially leggings.
But you’ve reached a problem: Ozempic butt.
I’ve done the research for you and what the ladies in social media suggest is simple: Special leggings that form your butt, however there are different kinds.
To keep it simple you just need to know of two kinds:
- Scrunch Bum / Push-outward (Lulu competitors)
https://preview.redd.it/ziqj6lg7s95h1.jpg?width=224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=550f82cf40d94ab987b24f544f3b45aaf58176c8
- Firming and Sculpting (Lulu)
https://preview.redd.it/ky3k4mb8s95h1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d3ef69014adb56083c08e9d710cb23d86e15e011
Scrunch Bum
Target audience: Tik-tok generation, most of the competitors focus on tik-tok advertisement, age range anywhere between 18-25. These are the “poor bitches” that most likely don’t even take Ozempic, so we don’t really care about them
Firming and Sculpting
Target audience: Instagram generation, think 30-55, decent income households and most importantly the age group that takes Ozempic
Further DeepDive Into the Rabbit HOLE
One of the most important things to keep in mind is what caused Lulu to drop in share price. Wallstreet is incorrectly categorizing LULU as Consumer Discretionary and I don’t blame them, because after prolonged AI circleJERKING they have yet to understand the basics of Basic Bitch Economy and the Basic Bitch Consumer staple or (BBCs for short) which is defined by the simple rule:
- As long as there is a place where a Basic Bitch can pretend she’s hotter than her friend, there will be a need for leggings and ass display.
Now why did Lulu go down in the first place?
- Tariffs
- War + Fear of rate hikes
- Lack of innovation
Tariffs are practically gone, they will get some cash back for that April25 fuckup.
War will end eventually and the current FED chair is unlikely to do any rate hikes.
Lack of innovation is concerning only to the already skinny bitches, which didn’t care about this for a long time. The best part about this DD is that the girls who had DDs before taking ozempic will go through the same leggings buying cycle.
But it gets better, wait for it…
South Korean Bitch Mom Syndrome
LULU is expanding heavily in China and South Korea where it gets a lot of attention.
In China everything that is non-chinese is considered extreme luxury and status symbol, have you ever heard a chinese ex-pat ask the cashier if it was made in China? I did, the moment he said everything is made in China the chinese lady replied: “Ching-chong-ding-dong I don’t want this