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Can a squirrel trade options better than me?

NEUTRAL by u/DaSquirrelly | Sep 04, 2026 | 1↑ 0 comments | 11 views | VIEW ON REDDIT

$SPY$QQQ$AAPL$GOOGL$NVDA

$SPY STATE STREET SPDR S&P 500 ETF T EQUITY SIMULATION

$757.83

-4.57 (-0.60%)

LAST PRICE · 15 MIN DELAY

DAY CHG -0.60%

5D CHG -0.96%

30D CHG +2.66%

$QQQ INVESCO QQQ TRUST, SERIES 1 EQUITY SIMULATION

$708.69

-7.59 (-1.06%)

LAST PRICE · 15 MIN DELAY

DAY CHG -1.06%

5D CHG -0.08%

30D CHG +2.42%

$AAPL APPLE INC. TECHNOLOGY EQUITY SIMULATION

$326.57

+11.23 (+3.56%)

LAST PRICE · 15 MIN DELAY

DAY CHG +3.56%

5D CHG +0.50%

30D CHG +1.61%

$GOOGL ALPHABET INC. COMMUNICATION SERVICES EQUITY SIMULATION

$332.60

+1.95 (+0.59%)

LAST PRICE · 15 MIN DELAY

DAY CHG +0.59%

5D CHG -1.28%

30D CHG +4.76%

$NVDA NVIDIA CORPORATION TECHNOLOGY EQUITY SIMULATION

$218.36

-5.30 (-2.37%)

LAST PRICE · 15 MIN DELAY

DAY CHG -2.37%

5D CHG -2.70%

30D CHG +4.60%

AI SUMMARY — Humorous post comparing personal options trading performance against a squirrel's random selection across SPY, QQQ, AAPL, GOOGL, and NVDA options. The author is conducting a semi-serious experiment tracking 50-100 trades to determine if random selection outperforms their technical analysis.

TICKER	SPY	USER	u/DaSquirrelly
RATING	NEUTRAL	ENTRY	$770.01
POSITION	2 sh SYN	BOOK VAL	$1999.53
CURRENT	$757.83	P&L %	-1.58%
CURR VAL	$1967.90	P&L $	-31.63

TICKER	QQQ	USER	u/DaSquirrelly
RATING	NEUTRAL	ENTRY	$717.95
POSITION	2 sh SYN	BOOK VAL	$1997.19
CURRENT	$708.69	P&L %	-1.29%
CURR VAL	$1971.43	P&L $	-25.76

TICKER	AAPL	USER	u/DaSquirrelly
RATING	NEUTRAL	ENTRY	$321.79
POSITION	6 sh SYN	BOOK VAL	$2011.34
CURRENT	$326.57	P&L %	+1.49%
CURR VAL	$2041.25	P&L $	+29.91

TICKER	GOOGL	USER	u/DaSquirrelly
RATING	NEUTRAL	ENTRY	$339.56
POSITION	5 sh SYN	BOOK VAL	$2006.50
CURRENT	$332.60	P&L %	-2.05%
CURR VAL	$1965.37	P&L $	-41.13

TICKER	NVDA	USER	u/DaSquirrelly
RATING	NEUTRAL	ENTRY	$229.87
POSITION	8 sh SYN	BOOK VAL	$1995.75
CURRENT	$218.36	P&L %	-5.01%
CURR VAL	$1895.82	P&L $	-99.93

I’m letting a squirrel trade options because I clearly shouldn’t be trusted
I have a new strategy.
Put nuts on the ground labeled SPY, QQQ, AAPL, GOOGL, NVDA.
Whatever nut the squirrel grabs is the stock.
Then more nuts for:
call / put
0dte / 1dte / 7dte
ATM / 1 strike OTM / 2 strikes OTM
Then I just buy whatever the little bastard picks.
I’m gonna track it against my own trades and probably a coin flip too because I genuinely want to know if a squirrel can outperform me.
Same position size every time so he can’t revenge trade.
Probably run like 50-100 trades and track win rate, P/L, drawdown, all that crap.
If he beats me I’m retiring from technical analysis and making him CIO.
If he somehow turns $50 into $5k I’m buying him unlimited walnuts and starting a hedge fund.