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Can a squirrel trade options better than me?

NEUTRAL by u/DaSquirrelly | Sep 04, 2026 | 1↑ 0 comments | 36 views | VIEW ON REDDIT

$SPY$QQQ$AAPL$GOOGL$NVDA

$SPY STATE STREET SPDR S&P 500 ETF T EQUITY SIMULATION

$763.04

-10.05 (-1.30%)

LAST PRICE · 15 MIN DELAY

DAY CHG -1.30%

5D CHG -1.13%

30D CHG -1.07%

$QQQ INVESCO QQQ TRUST, SERIES 1 EQUITY SIMULATION

$709.80

-18.20 (-2.50%)

LAST PRICE · 15 MIN DELAY

DAY CHG -2.50%

5D CHG -5.52%

30D CHG -0.82%

$AAPL APPLE INC. TECHNOLOGY EQUITY SIMULATION

$343.46

+1.47 (+0.43%)

LAST PRICE · 15 MIN DELAY

DAY CHG +0.43%

5D CHG +2.03%

30D CHG +7.43%

$GOOGL ALPHABET INC. COMMUNICATION SERVICES EQUITY SIMULATION

$334.76

-5.51 (-1.62%)

LAST PRICE · 15 MIN DELAY

DAY CHG -1.62%

5D CHG -3.70%

30D CHG -0.64%

$NVDA NVIDIA CORPORATION TECHNOLOGY EQUITY SIMULATION

$210.96

-1.25 (-0.59%)

LAST PRICE · 15 MIN DELAY

DAY CHG -0.59%

5D CHG -1.48%

30D CHG -8.32%

AI SUMMARY — Humorous post comparing personal options trading performance against a squirrel's random selection across SPY, QQQ, AAPL, GOOGL, and NVDA options. The author is conducting a semi-serious experiment tracking 50-100 trades to determine if random selection outperforms their technical analysis.

TICKER	SPY	USER	u/DaSquirrelly
RATING	NEUTRAL	ENTRY	$770.01
POSITION	2 sh SYN	BOOK VAL	$1999.53
CURRENT	$763.04	P&L %	-0.91%
CURR VAL	$1981.43	P&L $	-18.10

TICKER	QQQ	USER	u/DaSquirrelly
RATING	NEUTRAL	ENTRY	$717.95
POSITION	2 sh SYN	BOOK VAL	$1997.19
CURRENT	$709.80	P&L %	-1.14%
CURR VAL	$1974.52	P&L $	-22.67

TICKER	AAPL	USER	u/DaSquirrelly
RATING	NEUTRAL	ENTRY	$321.79
POSITION	6 sh SYN	BOOK VAL	$2011.34
CURRENT	$343.46	P&L %	+6.74%
CURR VAL	$2146.83	P&L $	+135.49

TICKER	GOOGL	USER	u/DaSquirrelly
RATING	NEUTRAL	ENTRY	$339.56
POSITION	5 sh SYN	BOOK VAL	$2006.50
CURRENT	$334.76	P&L %	-1.41%
CURR VAL	$1978.14	P&L $	-28.36

TICKER	NVDA	USER	u/DaSquirrelly
RATING	NEUTRAL	ENTRY	$229.87
POSITION	8 sh SYN	BOOK VAL	$1995.75
CURRENT	$210.96	P&L %	-8.23%
CURR VAL	$1831.57	P&L $	-164.18

I’m letting a squirrel trade options because I clearly shouldn’t be trusted
I have a new strategy.
Put nuts on the ground labeled SPY, QQQ, AAPL, GOOGL, NVDA.
Whatever nut the squirrel grabs is the stock.
Then more nuts for:
call / put
0dte / 1dte / 7dte
ATM / 1 strike OTM / 2 strikes OTM
Then I just buy whatever the little bastard picks.
I’m gonna track it against my own trades and probably a coin flip too because I genuinely want to know if a squirrel can outperform me.
Same position size every time so he can’t revenge trade.
Probably run like 50-100 trades and track win rate, P/L, drawdown, all that crap.
If he beats me I’m retiring from technical analysis and making him CIO.
If he somehow turns $50 into $5k I’m buying him unlimited walnuts and starting a hedge fund.